Wow, what a whirlwind. I am feeling better, finally. Today I rode 64 miles at a decent pace, so that was a good thing. I have been running a lot, too. I still can't swim due to my right shoulder and my left and is still sore (but not broken, I finally had an xray).... but at least I am being active again.
I am in the midst of a mild/medium depression....need to figure out a way to snap out of it. Just overwhelmed, at every turn there is more piled on and I really just need it to stop for a week or so....let me get back on my feet. It's definitely not the worst I have been. I am craving social time, so my friends are probably wondering why I am always replying YES to everything even if it's a ten mile run or 100 mile ride, I just need friends right now.
OK, off to be mama.
LUNA Chix
Technologically challenged at times.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Insane, I tell ya.
What is it with 2012? It has really been weird. And it continues.....
My BFF Jeme' died last week. I cannot believe it. We were so very close, and she was an amazing person. I cannot believe that she is not on this earth. My heart breaks for her young boys, her mom, her husband, and her sister, who was there for her passing. We are having a local service for her in June, on what would be her 44th birthday. 44. Seriously. I can barely write any more about this, except to say that I will never take friendship for granted, nor life, for that matter. I am so lucky that I went and spent a week with her in October. I would have regretted it forever if I'd been too busy, or whatever.....still....she is gone, and here I am. Kind of a wreck.
I knew she was dying over the weekend, and I was unable to function. I said no to everything, rides, runs, get togethers (ok, I went to one party) but my heart wasn't in it. When I finally heard that she died, it was Sunday night. So smart me decides on Monday that a 4 hour ride in the sun is just what I need to feel better. Really, it probably was. Except my heart was broken and my head was not in the game. I managed to hit Amy's wheel 16 minutes into the ride and we both went down. I didn't feel any pain but got some bad road rash from it, bent some spokes on my fancy wheels, and my left hand was sore (more on this later). Amy hurt her shoulder by hitting a fence, and that was what upset me the most, that it was my fault and that I possibly took her out of her season. (She's since gone riding so hopefully she continues to improve). But my guilt overtook me and I have had a really hard time functioning for a week. Plus my left hand is messed up, and no, I have yet to seek medical attention....afraid it will keep me off the bike for too long. It is healing, but so s l o w. Oh yeah, I bought a track bike on Sunday, too, before I heard the news of my friend's death. But that isn't really related except that I can't ride it until I can grip with my left hand. :(
Now, to add insult to injury.....on Wednesday we were leaving for a 7-day family vacation to sunny San Diego. Who has to do everything for a family vacation? ME! No offense, Jay worked hard to pay for it. I just made all the arrangements, packed, cleaned blah blah blah, and this was all after my bike accident, packing while hobbling around, whiplash, sore all over.....somehow we got to the plane in time to take off at 8 AM. 8 AM! Which meant, by lunchtime, we were AT SEAWORLD. That was a mindfuck. It was fun, though. And the whole trip was really good except a few moments when the kids got overtired, but that happens. We stayed two nights with my friends Jeff and Russ (where I had stayed in April), then drove to Palm Desert for 2 nights at my in-laws in 110 degree heat (I LOVED IT) and then back to San Diego and stayed two more nights with a high school friend. We did these things: Seaworld, Zoo, Beach, Balboa Park, Swimming Pools, Corvette Rides, Palm Springs Tram, Legoland, Coast drive, Seaworld again. No wonder I am tired. We got home about 1130 last night. Strangely our flight home was not crowded so we had a ton of room, and it got in 35 minutes EARLY. Nice. We spent so much money, I am scared to actually tally it up. I don't think I will. Is that bad?
Now, while I was gone, all sorts of things happened that have me in a dither. My friend C.A. is having brain tumor surgery tomorrow. WTF?? NO! Then my friend J.O.'s son had heart surgery yesterday (he is ok, but will have to undergo one more procedure). A guy I went to high school with went on a murder rampage, did not kill anyone, but got killed in the process. I don't know how I feel about that except it is weird and disconcerting. I had unfriended him from Facebook recently because of some horrible racist posts, so I cannot say we were friends. But it is weird when stuff like that happens. Things are going sort of crazy with TriFREAKS, lots of changes. Not bad things, but it means I will have to put my nose to the grindstone, and I am just not mentally into it right now.....trying, trying. But so much other stuff going on....and there's still more. My stupid left hand is hurting so I suppose I should stop typing and go ice it. Especially since this isn't all that exciting, mostly the normal rambling that I do. But.... i will be back and you will read about it.
My BFF Jeme' died last week. I cannot believe it. We were so very close, and she was an amazing person. I cannot believe that she is not on this earth. My heart breaks for her young boys, her mom, her husband, and her sister, who was there for her passing. We are having a local service for her in June, on what would be her 44th birthday. 44. Seriously. I can barely write any more about this, except to say that I will never take friendship for granted, nor life, for that matter. I am so lucky that I went and spent a week with her in October. I would have regretted it forever if I'd been too busy, or whatever.....still....she is gone, and here I am. Kind of a wreck.
I knew she was dying over the weekend, and I was unable to function. I said no to everything, rides, runs, get togethers (ok, I went to one party) but my heart wasn't in it. When I finally heard that she died, it was Sunday night. So smart me decides on Monday that a 4 hour ride in the sun is just what I need to feel better. Really, it probably was. Except my heart was broken and my head was not in the game. I managed to hit Amy's wheel 16 minutes into the ride and we both went down. I didn't feel any pain but got some bad road rash from it, bent some spokes on my fancy wheels, and my left hand was sore (more on this later). Amy hurt her shoulder by hitting a fence, and that was what upset me the most, that it was my fault and that I possibly took her out of her season. (She's since gone riding so hopefully she continues to improve). But my guilt overtook me and I have had a really hard time functioning for a week. Plus my left hand is messed up, and no, I have yet to seek medical attention....afraid it will keep me off the bike for too long. It is healing, but so s l o w. Oh yeah, I bought a track bike on Sunday, too, before I heard the news of my friend's death. But that isn't really related except that I can't ride it until I can grip with my left hand. :(
Now, to add insult to injury.....on Wednesday we were leaving for a 7-day family vacation to sunny San Diego. Who has to do everything for a family vacation? ME! No offense, Jay worked hard to pay for it. I just made all the arrangements, packed, cleaned blah blah blah, and this was all after my bike accident, packing while hobbling around, whiplash, sore all over.....somehow we got to the plane in time to take off at 8 AM. 8 AM! Which meant, by lunchtime, we were AT SEAWORLD. That was a mindfuck. It was fun, though. And the whole trip was really good except a few moments when the kids got overtired, but that happens. We stayed two nights with my friends Jeff and Russ (where I had stayed in April), then drove to Palm Desert for 2 nights at my in-laws in 110 degree heat (I LOVED IT) and then back to San Diego and stayed two more nights with a high school friend. We did these things: Seaworld, Zoo, Beach, Balboa Park, Swimming Pools, Corvette Rides, Palm Springs Tram, Legoland, Coast drive, Seaworld again. No wonder I am tired. We got home about 1130 last night. Strangely our flight home was not crowded so we had a ton of room, and it got in 35 minutes EARLY. Nice. We spent so much money, I am scared to actually tally it up. I don't think I will. Is that bad?
Now, while I was gone, all sorts of things happened that have me in a dither. My friend C.A. is having brain tumor surgery tomorrow. WTF?? NO! Then my friend J.O.'s son had heart surgery yesterday (he is ok, but will have to undergo one more procedure). A guy I went to high school with went on a murder rampage, did not kill anyone, but got killed in the process. I don't know how I feel about that except it is weird and disconcerting. I had unfriended him from Facebook recently because of some horrible racist posts, so I cannot say we were friends. But it is weird when stuff like that happens. Things are going sort of crazy with TriFREAKS, lots of changes. Not bad things, but it means I will have to put my nose to the grindstone, and I am just not mentally into it right now.....trying, trying. But so much other stuff going on....and there's still more. My stupid left hand is hurting so I suppose I should stop typing and go ice it. Especially since this isn't all that exciting, mostly the normal rambling that I do. But.... i will be back and you will read about it.
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