Smaller tatas part 1

Year:  1979  Ten-year-old me suddenly sprouts to adult height and has a C cup in fifth grade.  Yeah, that was fun.

Year:  1991.  Underwent the full prep for a breast reduction surgery, even had the surgery scheduled.  Went in for a final appointment and had another look at the surgeon's before and after book.  Decided that I wasn't really a fan of the after shots of many of the boobs.  Cancelled surgery.  Plus, I thought maybe I'd someday have kids (although it was a very distant thought at this point) and maybe I would breastfeed them.

Year:  2003  Baby 1 born, nursed 2.5 years and in early 2005 got pregnant again.

Year:  2005  Baby 2 born, nursed 2.5 years.

Year:  2008  Visit to plastic surgeon about a breast reduction, having lost 50 pounds and started being really active with running, triathlons etc.  Insurance denied it based on my BMI (the BMI formula does not account for frame size or muscle, so according to them I was just an obese person seeking a boob job).  Despite appeal, I was denied.  That particular insurance, United Healthcare, is apparently notorious for rejecting breast reduction surgery claims.  So, I put my plan on the back burner until better health care came along.

Year:  2012  After routine mammogram (all clear!) I saw the surgeon again today.  She didn't remember me right away, but after we talked for a few minutes she did, as we have a mutual friend who actually referred me to her.  Her assistant remembered me right away because of my eyes, which happens a lot.  I digress.

Today's appointment was different than four years ago.  I've dropped more weight and look smaller overall, I think, which helps my case.  I am still scale-heavy and there are still the charts that insurance uses to determine if it is medically necessary.  But she said something to me that made me start crying right there in her office, naked from the waist up.  "You have no idea how much better your life will be after this surgery."  She said I was a great candidate and after a round of the horrifying standagainstthebluewallateveryangle photos, she said she was off to write a very compelling letter to the insurance company on my behalf.  So, with that, in four to six weeks I will find out whether they approve or deny my reduction....and if they deny, the assistant is going to help me write a letter to start an appeal process that will hopefully work.  It's a scary thought to undergo major surgery, but I have so much discomfort, and lately I am getting open wounds and scars almost every time I run, that I want to be done with this and feel good about my body for once.  I know that the surgery scars may be bad...but emotionally I am so beaten down from dealing with this for my entire life that I need to do this to move forward for myself.  I told the assistant that I know it is a first world problem, and that I am so fortunate that I am not there having a consult about a mastectomy or something.  But the pain I have dealt with since my early development at the age of ten has been increasingly terrible, and finally I feel like I am on the right track.  The surgeon said she'd done hundreds of reductions since I was last in, and was excited that she could make me so much more comfortable and happy.  She was truly excited to share her plan with me.  I just want to cry and cry about this, happy tears....it's so hard to talk about.  Everyone has always focused on me and my breasts, I know that's how I am described "you know, the one with the huge tits" has been said a zillion times....all my flat chested friends always joke that they want me to share mine with them....oh, I wish I could.  I can only imagine a world where I can run in one bra, find bras to wear that aren't $80 and look like granny bras, where I can lay flat on my stomach in yoga or do the plow without suffocating myself with my breasts, where shirts will always button....I am so hopeful.      Let's hope I have good news to report about this before too long......