As soon as October is over, the insanity begins....well, I should rewind that. It actually begins in October with a ton of birthdays and anniversaries. I sort of lucked out this year (if you can call being flat out from an accident lucking out) by not being expected to do a damn thing for anybody's celebration. Except Spencer, and I threw him the awesomest of parties ever in the entire world. Thank you, painkillers. And friends. (In case you are wondering, I am off painkillers!! It's been weeks and weeks, so don't worry.)
OK, so November is here--halfway over, geez! Backstory----I have a million zillion relatives who all live in the greater Puget Sound area. Everyone wants to see us for every occasion and I am sick of the expectation and the struggles....every year I try to put boundaries and limits on our time, but there's always the exception to the rule. And now I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner here at my house due to feeling both guilty and martyrish. I wanted so badly to spend the time up at the cabin....but it got rented out and so we are here. And we have to decorate for Christmas, too...I am so not ready, I swear I haven't put everything away from last year. Where did the year go? (Besides in the toilet!)
House update: I am waffling waffling waffling on whether to buy it and have tight finances or to stay here and have plenty of money. It's tough. Ask me another time and I am certain we are moving. Can't figure this out. I think the fact that I cannot decide is a good thing to pay attention to. I know my pattern is to feel unhappy and trapped and to make a drastic, life altering decision.....trying to keep that in mind as we figure this out so that we do what is best for the FAMILY not just for ME. Stay tuned.
Breast update: appeal was denied. Apparently I am just not a candidate, but I have a chance to appeal again, so I guess I will since I have gone this far. I will send in the gorey post-race pix I have taken, get my therapists to write more letters, and see what happens. I guess I can just pay for it myself, that is always an option, I must remember that....just because insurance says I am not really in need doesn't mean they are correct.....so...stay tuned.
Future award winning author plans: The idea for a book just popped into my head. It will be amazing, incredible, loosely based on my life but with a lot of extra sexy stuff thrown in. I am sort of excited by the prospect of writing it. I think I can wrestle some of my demons in the process. Of course there is the fear that everything I say will be too much for those who know and love me to accept, especially things that are based on truth. I guess I will write for a while and see how it feels, how it looks. It may just end up being blogs. And for my readers (HAHAHAHA) you will be the winners.
Got asked on a date recently. That was interesting. (I said no.)
I have been running a bit, ran a 5k (in costume) with a 9 minute pace, not too bad for not trying too hard. Chiropractor then popped my ankle a couple of days later and now I fear I cannot run, because it has irrtated all of the trauma from a couple of years ago when I hurt my achilles (and I have some anger at the chiropractor that I am trying to hide when I see her, is that the right thing to do or do I just stop all treatment and just heal?)....I am plummeting into depression about my body and it's lack of being able to do anything.....hopefully between the stress of Christmas and the stress of healing I will survive. I really want to end 2012 on a good note, as it's been such a bad year overall......but this body of mine is troubling me in a bad way. I have to go to hand therapy, too, for my stupid finger. So chiropractor, physical therapy, massage therapy and hand therapy...that is my new life. Sigh. Feeling sorry for myself today...hopefully I will snap out of it soon.
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